Not a fan of the quasi-furry artwork, I must admit.
But the story itself seem pretty good.
The POV of someone other than the main character reveals a little bit -too- much. I am not a fan of a secondary POV in novels or visual novels. They tend to take out the mystery of the story and interrupt the flow of the storytelling.
It's a pretty big spoiler in this story. Too big. The hint you get from the news and asking that customer about his troubles put together would have been subtle and nice. Adding his POV after is like being hit in the fact with a sledghammer of a clue --it's too much. Cute. But too much.
(Perhaps a later shadowed figure sequence -after- you've met all the characters in the story who says those things.... that might have worked. Kept the mystery alive. The yandere POV directly after meeting said person ran a bit too long, but overall it wasn't bad. The second POV from him was very good. But again; Too revealing.)
Those minor flaws aside, this story is most defiantly wonderful.
Good enough that I can ignore the artstyle I dislike. And any minor flaws. (I know, I nitpick. A lot. I'm a writer myself, so I always critique stories. lol)
I hope there will be a full version of this game somewhere. Preferably on Steam. It's the only place I actually buy games.
If it shows up on Steam, it defiantly goes on my wishlist.
Please don't worry, your critique is highly appreciated ^^b
Thank you for playing our game even though you don't like the art style lol.
I understand your dislike for other characters' POVs. Personally, I think it depends on the writer's intent and their reason for showing things from a different POV (and I can assure you that we won't go overboard with it xD)
So let me explain ours: He was never meant to be a big mystery. This game was primarily created for an existing fanbase that already knew a lot about Damon. Pretending he was just an innocent customer wouldn’t have added much to the experience imo. And one of the main questions will rather be whether you should trust him~
I hope this explanation suffices ^^
We're still working on the next chapter, and if we ever release it on Steam, it will only be once the full version is complete :)
I see. If the game is using an already known character I see your logic.
Still think it's better without it. But I do admit he IS cute in those scenes. lol
Your story is one of those that transcends the artwork tho. Like Stephen King said: You can forgive almost anything if the story is good enough. Or the character, in this case. (Since I don't know much of the story yet.)
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Alguien sabe cuando van a actualizarlo?
10/10 :D
Alguien sabe si ya hay una fecha aproximada para el dia 2 :c
I don't believe there is any ETA yet, sadly … we'll just have to be patient.
Not a fan of the quasi-furry artwork, I must admit.
But the story itself seem pretty good.
The POV of someone other than the main character reveals a little bit -too- much. I am not a fan of a secondary POV in novels or visual novels. They tend to take out the mystery of the story and interrupt the flow of the storytelling.
It's a pretty big spoiler in this story. Too big.
The hint you get from the news and asking that customer about his troubles put together would have been subtle and nice.
Adding his POV after is like being hit in the fact with a sledghammer of a clue --it's too much.
Cute. But too much.
(Perhaps a later shadowed figure sequence -after- you've met all the characters in the story who says those things.... that might have worked. Kept the mystery alive.
The yandere POV directly after meeting said person ran a bit too long, but overall it wasn't bad. The second POV from him was very good. But again; Too revealing.)
Those minor flaws aside, this story is most defiantly wonderful.
Good enough that I can ignore the artstyle I dislike. And any minor flaws.
(I know, I nitpick. A lot. I'm a writer myself, so I always critique stories. lol)
I hope there will be a full version of this game somewhere.
Preferably on Steam.
It's the only place I actually buy games.
If it shows up on Steam, it defiantly goes on my wishlist.
Hi, fellow writer :)
Please don't worry, your critique is highly appreciated ^^b
Thank you for playing our game even though you don't like the art style lol.
I understand your dislike for other characters' POVs. Personally, I think it depends on the writer's intent and their reason for showing things from a different POV (and I can assure you that we won't go overboard with it xD)
So let me explain ours: He was never meant to be a big mystery. This game was primarily created for an existing fanbase that already knew a lot about Damon. Pretending he was just an innocent customer wouldn’t have added much to the experience imo. And one of the main questions will rather be whether you should trust him~
I hope this explanation suffices ^^
We're still working on the next chapter, and if we ever release it on Steam, it will only be once the full version is complete :)
Thank you again and have a wonderful week!
I see. If the game is using an already known character I see your logic.
Still think it's better without it. But I do admit he IS cute in those scenes. lol
Your story is one of those that transcends the artwork tho.
Like Stephen King said: You can forgive almost anything if the story is good enough.
Or the character, in this case. (Since I don't know much of the story yet.)
I look forward to see more of the game. ^_^
is this still wip?
Not sure, but its a great game for only having day 1 complete
alguien sabe si ya tiene fecha el dia 2?? 😖
necesito la versión completa definitivamente¡¡¡😭😭😭
necesito una guia-